Ive been reading other people's blog. Most of them are talking about new year. The meaning of new year is just so different this year. The truth is, im terrified of 2008. Im so reluctant to move on. I really dont want this year to end. I am not ready.. Yes, you may say, i just need to trust God. Gee.. It just so hard. I am trying.. Really, really, really trying.. I am really scared.. You might think im so silly to be so scared of new year. I dont care what you say, im just scared. SPM next year, you know.. To some of you that finishes spm, you sure say, aiyah, sap-sap water lar. Im sure you can do it wan. Sap sap water your head lar. Its not easy at all hor. My parents is expecting me to do well in SPM. Sigh. Oh just to think about 2008, makes me so nervous and stress. I dont want to move on.. Im not excited at all for new year.. Im trying.. it just.. so.. scary.. I used to think all those kor kors and jie jies in Form 5 are like so smart, mature and everything. Its hard to believe im in Form 5 now. I used to wish that i can grow up quickly and get out of school as soon as possible but as everyone says, schooling days are the best. Which is true. I cant deny it. When, you dont have to sit for major exams... What else can i do but to accept this as a challenge? Worrying about it is like a waste of time. I know worrying is a waste of time. Why worry, when God already planned out everything nicely for you. But.. gah.. Its so hard not to worry sometimes.

I hate it when people say, aiyah, you so smart, sure can do it wan lar. or ha-ha, i already finish it, now its your turn. Eeeee.. Makes me want to... argh. You dont want to know. Stop saying all that, you are not me, you wouldnt know how i feel. Right? What to do, just keep quiet. If i can, i want to go back to Form 1. And start all over again. Make everything wrong, right again.

2007 has been a wonderful year to be although its full of disappointments, misunderstandings, fights, unhappiness and etc. All those things eventually doesnt matter anymore. Why do you want to look back on those unhappy things? It just makes you move backwards instead of forward. So, just move on and count your blessings! Although the new year looks so scary and unpredictable. Just have a little faith. And trust Him. He will put you through even when it seems impossible. Maybe thats what i have to do, have faith, trust and believe. I should just let go of the unhappiness and move on.

I guess, in conclusions, I just need to take a step of faith.


P/s: Eh, thats not my 200th post. I read the numbers wrongly. Pai seh..